You're busy texting someone. Maybe it's a work thing. I try to look at my phone and hope someone messages me or calls me so that I can pretend to be busy as well. But only my thoughts keep me busy. I try to login to Facebook : I guess that's what people do these days, login to Facebook or Twitter and the like when you have to wait for someone or you smoke a cigarette and kill time. Is this what 2 years of our marriage has come down to? We have nothing left to say to each other anymore? Is this how it feels to be lonely amidst so many people? When someone close to you, someone who once held your hand in the crowd has become the crowd itself?
We haven't looked each other in the eye for quite some time. The old lady with her dainty pink umbrella, carefully avoiding the small puddles of water around the edge of the street has walked past us. I think she walked at snails pace. I noticed that she seemed happy by herself and that she was just back after buying a fresh pack of groceries. Maybe she's going back to her husband. Perhaps she lives alone. I check if there's something interesting playing on tv. But they're playing a cricket match. Something that has interested me only during the world cup fever. Once in 4 years. I've noticed at least 15 cars pass by in the mean time. Most of them, white in colour. The little girl in the cafe has already relished the whole basket of her garlic bread with cheese by herself. Not letting her parents take one bite.
You are still busy texting!
I try to indulge you in a conversation over my already cold coffee .
"You want to try this new colombian dessert: The banoffee pie? Maybe we can share it "
"hmmmm"
Hardly paying attention to what I just said. One of the countless thoughts running through my head is to end this bout of self enduring pain. I reflect on the happier days. The days of real togetherness. When my words didn't pass through a translucent you, so easily. Thats the only reason I don't want to cut this thread. But maybe it will let me loose as well. Finally, you look at me. You ask me,
"What were you saying?"
I just say "Nothing, nothing important" and continue to sip my already cold coffee.
We haven't looked each other in the eye for quite some time. The old lady with her dainty pink umbrella, carefully avoiding the small puddles of water around the edge of the street has walked past us. I think she walked at snails pace. I noticed that she seemed happy by herself and that she was just back after buying a fresh pack of groceries. Maybe she's going back to her husband. Perhaps she lives alone. I check if there's something interesting playing on tv. But they're playing a cricket match. Something that has interested me only during the world cup fever. Once in 4 years. I've noticed at least 15 cars pass by in the mean time. Most of them, white in colour. The little girl in the cafe has already relished the whole basket of her garlic bread with cheese by herself. Not letting her parents take one bite.
You are still busy texting!
I try to indulge you in a conversation over my already cold coffee .
"You want to try this new colombian dessert: The banoffee pie? Maybe we can share it "
"hmmmm"
Hardly paying attention to what I just said. One of the countless thoughts running through my head is to end this bout of self enduring pain. I reflect on the happier days. The days of real togetherness. When my words didn't pass through a translucent you, so easily. Thats the only reason I don't want to cut this thread. But maybe it will let me loose as well. Finally, you look at me. You ask me,
"What were you saying?"
I just say "Nothing, nothing important" and continue to sip my already cold coffee.
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